Murderous Santas take centre stage in alternative festive show
A Nightmare Before Christmas, with Adam Wood, Albany Theatre, 15 December 2024.
Review by Annette Kinsella.
Yuletide: the season of peace and goodwill, a chance to put aside differences and revel in the warmth of human kindness. However, this doesn’t account for the propensity of filmmakers to set some of the nastiest movies in the horror canon at Christmastime. Evil Santas (Santa's Slay, 2005), murderous pets (Gremlins, 1984) and vengeful devils (Krampus, 2015) all abound in the seemingly sick and twisted minds of directors. And, I suppose, us as the audiences who flock to see them. Never underestimate the human race to sabotage even the jolliest of festivals.
One particularly heartwarming filmic Christmas tableau which sticks particularly in my mind is Joan Collins, star of 70s portmanteau classic Tales from the Crypt, cowering under the window as a homicidal Santa loomed menacingly above. Poor Joan was unable to escape the clutches of Santa and was summarily strangled. This scene left me, as a little girl, tearful and horrified with a deep-rooted terror of Father Christmas. Which made for fun scenes at the Girls Brigade Christmas party.
It's a good thing that seven-year-old me didn’t know that this arresting story was actually based on a real-life crime. The story of a Father Christmas with a propensity for ultra-violence was part of a series related by local author Adam Wood, in his one-off show A Nightmare Before Christmas, a spoken-word show comprising a litany of lurid 19th century crimes committed over the festive period. The Santa in this case was a military captain, who, while conducting an affair with the flighty wife of his sergeant major, dressed up to give out presents at a party hosted by his illicit lover. After pretending to leave with the rest of the guests, he crept upstairs to enjoy a romantic tryst, only to be confronted by the affronted major, who he shot dead in the ensuing scuffle.
Wood, accompanied by an old-style projector, led us through increasingly shocking tales, including Harriet Buswell, whose encounter with a mysterious German stranger resulted the discovery of her lifeless body on Christmas Day by her appalled landlady, her paramour having fled; and housemaid Jane Popejoy, who died on Boxing Day after her wealthy yet parsimonious Kensington mistress starved her to death. Closer still to home was Jane Holmes, from Allesley, who announced she had stabbed her four-month-old baby on Christmas Eve after suffering with post-natal depression. Although PND was not recognised in the 1800s, the unfortunate Jane was spared jail on the grounds of insanity. More than a hundred years later, it’s a timely reminder that social and mental problems don’t disappear at Christmas.
There’s no doubt that Wood has put in painstaking amounts of research to gather the tales and the projector, displaying old and modern-day scenes of the crime, helps create context for listeners. There’s still a little room for improvement – his deadpan delivery is reminiscent of a police constable reading through a charge sheet, so extra drama in delivery could add to the theatre of the piece. But given he is by trade a local historian and author rather than a dramatist, this can be forgiven.
Overall this show was an enjoyable romp – if that is the word – through festive crimes committed through the years and well worth a visit if alternative Christmas shows are your schtick. Peace to all men indeed – just avoid the maniac Santas.
See what else is coming up at the Albany Theatre: https://www.albanytheatre.co.uk/
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